A Trombonist goes on Honeymoon

Two weeks ago on Saturday 27 October, Steph and I got married at The Salvation Army, Royal Tunbridge Wells Corps and celebrated with a reception at the Mercure Hotel Pembury. It was the best day of my life, and quite simply, I don't feel that I can summarise it in a blog.

However...

The following day, Sunday 28 October, we left the hotel bright and early and made our way to Gatwick Airport where we boarded a flight to Orlando for our honeymoon. What follows below is a day to day reflection of what we got up to and it's probably far too long for anyone other than myself to take an interest in reading! Still, having taken the time to get my memories on paper, it seems only right to upload it onto here. So, if you're still with me, enjoy my diary of our honeymoon in Florida!

Sunday 28th October 2018

The Longest Day

The 6am alarm cut through the quiet Sunday morning waking me as abruptly as if an explosion had taken place in the room. As I sat, half asleep, I was firmly of the opinion that booking such an early flight the morning after our wedding was a terrible idea. Yet. with some coaxing from Steph, I was soon up, showered and downstairs in the hotel lobby waiting for our friends Amy and Andy who had agreed to take us to Gatwick Airport. An hour later and we were in the airport, safe from the autumn rain. I had just found myself a comfortable spot, and was beginning to drop off, when our gate was called and we set off across the terminal building and onto the plane. We were both wearing matching hoodies that read ‘just married’ on the back, something which may have contributed to what happened next. We were asked to take our bags and follow one of the cabin crew. I'd heard such stories before and always assumed they were an urban myth, and yet there we were: through the curtain and relaxing in ‘Premium Economy’. This was more like it. My exhaustion suddenly put to the back of my mind, I was determined to savour every minute of the experience, from the excellent meal, to the cream tea (with real Rhodda’s clotted cream!) and the retro games console built in to the chair. My only regret is that I didn’t venture down to explore the business class bar. Maybe next time!

Some eight hours and forty-five minutes later we touched down at Orlando International Airport. It sounds an odd thing to say, but as we walked off the plane and into the terminal building, the first things that hit me were the heat and the smells, which were exactly as I remembered them from my last visit twelve years previously. Whilst it didn’t feel like we spent that long clearing customs and collecting our suitcases, as we took the monorail across the airport, night had fallen. Exhausted, we found the Alamo car hire desk where to Steph's delight were informed we could have our second upgrade of the day. Instead of leaving in a 'small' car, we drove out into the Orlando evening in a 'medium' pickup truck. Following a Satnav Steph's Uncle had loaned us, we drove past EPCOT and Hollywood studios and eventually, arrived at Disney’s ‘All Star Sports Resort’.

By this point, time was proving something of a blur for me, we’d set off at 7am UK time, and finally got into our room at 10pm Florida time. It’s fair to say it had been a long day, but I was what my Mum would call ‘past it’ by this point and decided to channel hop through the TV. Miraculously I managed to find Match of the Day and, having caught up on my football soccer I eventually settled down to sleep.

Monday 29th October 2018

The Happiest Place on Earth

No matter what time I go to bed, or how much sleep I have had or indeed how many time zones I have crossed, I am always up at the crack of dawn. As the early morning sunshine crept through the curtains this was no different, and I was up and about long before Steph. We had discovered the night before that the TV had very few channels, all of which (quelle surprise) were Disney related and showing programmes I had no interest in. Onto Plan B. Trying my best not to wake her, I snuck out of bed and tiptoed across the room to get my book from my bag. Moving as stealthily as my slight frame will allow, I got back into bed and under the covers. It was then I realised, despite the bright Florida morning, it was not light enough for me to read without turning on a light: a sure fire way to wake my sleeping wife. So, utilising all my acrobatic skills, Plan C was put into place and stretching across her, I unplugged my phone and got ready to crush some candies. My error readers was a simple and unforeseen one, and with the phone brightness on full and the screen close to her face, Steph was awake.

But this was Disney, the happiest place on earth and here early mornings do not exist they are simply opportunities to embrace the fullness of the day. Or something like that. Anyway a short time later we were outside, Steph basking in the sun and I skirting in and out of the shadows of the hotel buildings because I hadn’t got my factor 50+ on yet. In the air conditioned bliss of the ‘End Zone Food Court’ there was a buzz of excitement as the hotel’s other guests prepared for their days at the park while I pondered whether it was a sin to put maple syrup on my eggs and bacon and dreaming wistfully of brown sauce. But it seemed I had no choice and, doing what my parents always advised against, I did what everyone else was doing and in the process discovered a new taste sensation.

Despite hiring a car for the fortnight we had the option of shuttle bus services to and from all the parks, something we made full use of. There is no need to go into great detail about these however, they were just functional buses with smiley drivers, plastic seats and air conditioning. We stepped off it, through the bag checks and security and found ourselves stood in front of Magic Kingdom. Steph is lifelong Disney aficionado, I am not. I went to Florida twice as a kid but was slightly cynical about the whole thing but it was hard not to get swept away in the excitement, the colour, the smells and the sounds. Even before I’d entered the park I’d seen a paddle steamer, several monorail trains and the park steam train. Abandoning cynicism, I embraced the magic and hand in hand we walked through the front gate.

I’m not going to give you a detailed list of exactly what rides we went on and the order in which we went on them because despite my best efforts, I can’t remember. I started making a list but lost track by day three. I can tell you though that we made straight for Big Thunder Mountain and after that took the Park Train on stop to Fantasyland where we went on It’s a Small World and watched Mickey’s Philharmagic which was very enjoyable. We also managed to tick off The Winnie the Pooh ride, Peter Pan’s Flight, The People Mover, The Laugh Floor, Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin, The Carousel of Progress, and The Seven Dwarves Mine Train. Ok so I did just list exactly what we went on and the order we did so… but Day One is the most comprehensive list I made! As we walked out of the park, we stopped at all the photographers to have ‘official’ photos taken and a short bus ride later we were back at the hotel.

We had discovered that morning that we could order room service for the cost of the food plus $10 (and plus tip) and I had been tempted to try this out, just because we could. But having discovered just how close we were to the restaurant (it felt a lot longer driving round the previous night) there was obviously little point in getting it delivered and so we carried the enormous ‘standard’ sized pizza back to our room and brought our first full day in the USA to a close eating the pizza and watching American football.

Tuesday 30th October 2018

All around The World

Although I was only eleven at the time, my memories of my last (and only) visit to EPCOT were fond, and I was very much looking forward to going back again. I was, once again, up early but was joined by Steph and, having had cold pizza for breakfast we were soon out in the stifling heat of the unsheltered queue for the park buses. Due to the proximity of our hotel to EPCOT we only had a brief air conditioned respite before we were making our way up through the main entrance and towards the famous geodesic sphere.

Long before travelling, we had pre booked our fast-passes using the ‘Magic Band’ system so we knew exactly where we were heading first off, and duly made our way to Soarin’, a ride I’d heard a lot about and was looking forward to going on. For those who haven’t heard of it, the basic premise is that of a simulator where the rider is take on a journey around the world on a hang glider. It’s very effective and I could see why the queues for it were constantly long. In the same building there is a boat ride called Living with the Land which first takes the rider back in time through the history of farming and agriculture and then on a tour through Disney’s greenhouses. As someone who enjoys gardening, I found this fascinating. Having had lunch while the restaurants were quiet (I had salmon and something called ‘cheese grits’ and corn ‘succotash’) we went back outside to go on the Finding Nemo ride and then went into the enormous and absolutely incredibly aquarium.

The park itself is divided into two distinct areas. Future World houses the majority of the rides and focuses on technology, science and history. The World Showcase is set around a lagoon and is a series of ‘pavilions’ representing countries from around the world, giving a flavour their culture as well as including themed rides and entertainment. Starting in ‘Mexico’ we collected our ‘passport’ and we went on the Gran Fiesta Tour (featuring The Three Caballeros), listened to a mariachi band and then, to Steph’s delight, met Donald Duck. From here we travelled to Norway and went on Frozen Ever After. From here we returned to Future World where we went on Test Track, Mission: Space, and my favourite, Spaceship Earth. Set inside the sphere, and starting with prehistoric humans, this ride takes you through the history of human communication all the way through history to the present day.

We then continued our journey around the world, this time working in the other direction and having spent some time looking round Canada, we arrived in The United Kingdom. Having been surprised at finding a replica clock tower almost identical to one in Totnes, we moved inside to look in the shops and have our passport stamped. I have a great memory from fifteen years previous of sitting in this area and colouring in our masks (instead of passports) and being joined by Winnie the Pooh and Tigger. There is also one of my favourite pictures of my Grandad, who passed away shortly after that holiday, relaxing in an armchair while we coloured. The characters are no longer there but thanks to our ‘just married’ badges, we were allowed special access to an area known as ‘Christopher Robin’s bedroom’ where we were allowed to have our pictures taken. Before leaving, I found Grandad’s armchair and recreated that photo.

Our plan then was to watch ‘IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth’ firework display but, having some time before it started, we bought tea at ‘The Yorkshire Fish and Chip Shop’ which, despite not having mushy peas or curry sauce, was pretty good. We then bought hot chocolate and huge doughnuts from ‘Joffrey’s’ before finding ourselves a good spot at the edge of the lagoon for the fireworks. Divided into three parts ‘Chaos’, ‘Order’ and ‘Meaning’, the show utilises fireworks, lights and other special effects to tell the story of Earth’s history and is, in my opinion, absolutely incredible and a great way to end your day at EPCOT.

Wednesday 31st October 2018
If everybody had an ocean…

It seems that walking round theme parks all day, every day enjoying yourself and relaxing can actually be quite tiring. As such, Disney have kindly provided two water parks where you can take a break from taking a break. After a late start to the morning where we chilled and watched the US version of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ and something called The Steve Harvey Show (which was surprisingly funny) we caught the bus, via Disney Springs, to Typhoon Lagoon.

My only memory of this park from my previous visit all those years before is of getting in the Lazy River and staying there for the majority of the day. I had a similar plan in mind for this visit too, but after one circuit Steph convinced me to try out the new rides Crush ‘n’ Gusher and Misadventure Falls which had not been there in 2003.

After going on these several times, we went back to our sun loungers for a rest. Now Steph can happily do this all day. I on the other hand, amused myself by watching two skinks running around in the plants next to where I was lying but once they disappeared into the bushes I was thoroughly bored. I’d lasted five minutes, my personal best. And so I decided to get up and go for a wander and found, to my surprise, Steph decided to come along too. We had a nice walk around the park, soaking up the atmosphere and eventually found somewhere for a snack and a drink. Clearly exhausted by her lack of relaxation, Steph retreated back to her sunbed and I decided to it was time to go in the wave pool where I remembered just how much fun getting swept up in a manmade wave can be. That said, I also remember my Aunty breaking her thumb in the same pool, so I did remember to be slightly sensible. I spent ages in there, before deciding it was time to head out and find Steph. As I started wading out of the pool however, I saw her standing at the water’s edge. With some coaxing, little by little she came in and joined me. As the day began to draw to a close, we gathered our things and headed out towards the gate. Once again we had to change buses at Disney Springs and, as neither of us had bothered to change we attracted a few curious looks as we stood there, water still dripping from our clothes. 

That evening, we "took the pick up for a spin" and had a drive round the local area. First we stopped at Walmart, without doubt the biggest shop I’ve ever seen, to stock up on supplies for the week. As it was Halloween, we decided to buy some ‘candy, but were disappointed to find the ‘candy section’ (itself the size of a small shop) completely empty. Still, we’d got what we needed and so got back in the car and went in search of a building I was keen to find. 

When we came in 2003, we had had every evening meal at a branch of a ‘steakhouse’ chain called ‘Ponderosa’ and everyday had been served by a waiter called Albert. My sisters, cousins and I all remembered him and the restaurant extremely fondly. Albert must have long since retired but I was delighted to find that otherwise, the restaurant itself had not changed a bit. The layout, furniture and food were exactly as I remembered and it was great to, once again, relive happy childhood memories. The layout of the building itself hadn’t altered either and you could still leave through an adjoining door to the gift shop next door which also had not changed. My inner child (and my hunger) once again satisfied, we continued our evening drive around before heading back to the hotel.

Thursday 1st November 2018

Hooray for Hollywood!

During the course of our visit, I came to realise that there is always something unexpected happening at Disney and, as I stood inside the entrance of Hollywood Studios liberally applying my factor 50+, ominous music heralded the arrival of ‘First Order’ stormtroopers. Under the command of Captain Phasma, they marched up the main road, interrogating (somewhat baffled) visitors for the information about Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. It proved that nobody could offer any useful information and as troopers continued their march, we made for our first fast pass of the day which was, appropriately, Star Tours; a simulator ride through a galaxy far, far away. This has been reworked to reflect the new additions to the franchise since Disney bought the rights to the Star Wars films and, whilst it was still very good, I couldn’t help but think the original had been more faithful to the storylines. 

Safely back on planet earth, after a quick photo on a 74-Z speeder bike, we continued exploring the park. As we walked past the Sci-Fi diner Steph said expressed her regret at not booking a table explaining that it is very popular, because it is very good. Designed to feel like a 1950’s American drive in movie the restaurant has a big screen showing short black and white films (such as “Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman”) and tables designed to look like convertible cars. Taking a chance we went in anyway where we were told that there were tables but no cars available and, to make it worse, we would have a long wait. Not wanting to miss this chance though we waited, in part to take advantage of the air conditioning. As the staff member walked away he commented on our ‘just married’ badges. Not for the first (or last) time this holiday, these seemed to do the trick and within a few minutes we were being shown to one of the car tables where we had an excellent lunch.

Thoroughly stuffed I reluctantly went back out into the heat, and Steph insisted we queued to meet Olaf (the snowman from Frozen) giving her reasoning as wanting to take a picture with him for her niece. I didn’t believe her then and having seen the look of joy on her face when we went in, I still don’t believe her now. We then walked down ‘Grand Avenue’ past the statue of Miss Piggy and watched Muppet Vision 4D which was just as brilliant as I remembered it being. With some time still before our next fast pass, we took the opportunity to meet some more characters and had our pictures taken with Pluto, Goofy and Chip & Dale. We then made our way to Disney Presents, an indoor attraction which showcases film making skills, the history of Disney and some excellent scale models which included (according to my camera roll) the Cinderella castle, The Tower of Terror, The EPCOT ball, The Millenium Falcon, an AT-AT and a glimpse of 'Galaxy's Edge' a Star Wars themed area of the park that was still under construction.

The flagship ride for this newest section of the  the park 'Toy Story Land' is Slinky Dog Dash. As I have a cousin who loves Toy Story and a wife who loves Disney full stop, I’d heard a lot about it and was looking forward to trying it out. By all accounts, in the days after it opened eager fans queued for over four hours to ride it and while, on this occasion, we ‘only’ queued for seventy minutes in all honesty, it felt like seventy years. The only break from the tedium of waiting in line came in the form of ‘toy soldiers’ who marched through the crowds playing drums but even these didn’t stay long enough to cause much of a distraction. In the sweltering heat, and the surreal surroundings of being ‘toy sized’ I was beginning to feel like I was in some kind of Pixar themed Dali painting when we were, quite suddenly, at the front of the queue. After such a long wait, I still can’t work out if it was worth it or not. It is essentially a bigger version of the caterpillar rollercoaster that kids ride on in the summer on Paignton Green, and to watch from ground it looks like it’s moving very slowly. But it was deceptively quick and plenty of people in front of us were screaming in terror although I couldn’t quite work out why. Still it was good fun and, as with everything in Disney, well designed and themed and ultimately was actually quite fun. I’m glad I didn’t have to wait for four hours though. 

Despite the length of time we had taken on Slinky Dog Dash, we were only just approaching our next fast pass time slot on Toy Story Mania, a series of arcade games where players compete against each other. Having already comprehensively beaten me on Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin, my ultra-competitive wife got very upset that I, for once, beat her score. I had time enough to gloat about this as we walked back across the park to watch the Little Mermaid Show and then go on the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. Well, Steph did, I am not a fan of rides that go upside down and so sat this one out. By this time, the sun was just starting to set and so we left the park and caught the bus across to Disney Springs.

Last time I came, this was known as ‘Downton Disney’ and was quite small with some shops and other attractions round the side of a lake. These still remain, but the area has grown significantly around it and is now quite a large shopping complex with everything from high end boutique shops and restaurants to toy shops and sweet shops. At night, it’s a surprisingly nice place to walk around and relax and there were a number of musicians dotted around playing a variety of genres. Leaving for our hotel, we couldn’t help but notice that despite it being the first fay of November, an enormous Christmas tree had already been put up.

Friday 2nd November 2018

The One with the Tornado

During the course of the week the morning weather reports in the breaks of the Steve Harvey Show had increasingly warned of heavy rain over the weekend despite the glorious weather up to that point. Friday morning continued this pattern and as we arrived at Animal Kingdom the sun was shining and the sun cream had been liberally applied. We had chosen to visit Animal Kingdom on my birthday as I remembered it as being my favourite park from our visit a decade and a half previously.

Like all the Disney theme parks, Animal Kingdom is divided into sections which, in this case, are named after continents real and fictional. The first, which you come to after entering the park is called ‘Oasis’ and is home to a variety of animals. After considerably increasing the number of pictures on my camera, we moved on into the main part of the park, past Tree of Life (the park’s main feature) and on into ‘Asia’.

Perhaps the park’s best known ride, the basic premise of Everest is a stomach churning escape after the mountain train is attacked by the Yeti. After seemingly hitting a dead end of mangled track, the Yeti makes his move and the train is sent hurtling backwards into the mountain itself. Eventually drawing to a stop, in the pitch dark it is attacked again. There is a brief pause as the Yeti does his thing before the train escapes down an incredibly steep drop into an improbable left hand climbing corner before hurtling through a series of more curves and drops. It is terrifying and thrilling in equal measure. 

For something a little calmer we left Asia and headed to ‘Dinoland USA’, where we had our photos taken with Scrooge McDuck, Daisy Duck, Donald Duck, Chip & Dale and Goofy before making our way to the newest area ‘Pandora’.

Based on the film ‘Avatar’ and featuring improbably balanced and floating rock formations, it is also home to two excellent rides Na’vi River Journey and Avatar: Flight of Passage. We had a fast pass booked for flight of passage, which proved a wise decision as it consistently had queues of over two hours. As a result it was one of the few rides across all the parks that we only went on once. By contrast, Na’vi River Journey is a more sedate boat ride where you can relax as you see more aspects of Pandora at a steadier pace.

After having our sandwiches in ‘Pongu Pongu’ and watching the Pandora drummers for a while we set off for ‘Africa’ where, after a photo with Timon, we went on the Kilimanjaro Safari attraction. As we boarded our safari vehicle, we began to notice the skies darken slightly, and the temperature drop a touch but at this point we were less interested in the weather than in seeing the animals and, cameras at the ready we took our seats.

Despite doing their best to encourage the animals to be visible to guests (such as installing air conditioning onto the rock feature so the lions don’t move too far) Disney have in many respects tried to make the safari as authentic as possible. It was easy therefore to get ‘lost in the moment’ as we joined our fellow travellers in looking for lions, hippos, giraffes, rhinos, elephants, crocodiles, zebra, cheetahs, hunting dogs and more.

As we made our way back through ‘Africa’ we stopped to listen to a band on an open-air stage but, shortly after we started listening, there was the unmistakable feel of raindrops in the air and before long it was raining quite heavily. In Florida, generally speaking, when it rains it remains quite warm. Not on this occasion though and so we sought we sought shelter by going to see Festival of The Lion King. This show is based loosely on the story of the Lion King film and features songs from its soundtrack along with animatronic animals, dancers and gymnasts. Distracted by this, we paid no thought to the weather until, as the doors opened at the end of the show, we were confronted the heaviest rain I’ve ever seen. As we sheltered with several hundred visitors and staff under a covered eating area, I felt my phone go off in my pocket, which was odd as I’d turned my data off. Looking at the screen I read “tornado warning, take shelter”. I was clearly not the only person to receive this as immediately there was a mass exodus as thousands of people ran to the exits.

Bravely (or foolishly) we remained in the park but we did take shelter by going into in Mickey and Minnie’s adventure outpost where the sign was still showing a forty-five-minute queue. For the first time in history, Disney guests were disappointed to find there was no queue and with a stop for some photos, we were in and out in all of five minutes. As it was my birthday, we’d booked a table at the Rainforest café and were by this point contemplating leaving the park to see if we could get an earlier table. However, there were some rides showing very short wait times because, I assume, everyone had left and so having watched the 4D show ‘It’s tough to be a bug’ we had another ride on the Na’avi River Journey before leaving the park for the evening. The rainforest café was much the same as its London counterpart aside from a huge fish tank forming one wall of the building which was pretty cool. An excellent tea was finished in American style as the waiters gathered around our table to wish me happy birthday.

Saturday 3 November

Out of this world 

When deciding where we were going to go from honeymoon I was clear that, if it were to be Florida, then I would want to visit the Kennedy Space Center (KSC) at Cape Canaveral. As already mentioned, I visited Florida aged 11 in 2003 with my sisters, aunt, cousins and my Grandma and Grandad. I was closer to my Grandad than almost anyone in my life at that time and losing him so suddenly after an incredible holiday had a big impact on me. Even now, one of my clearest memories of that fortnight, and one of my last memories of Grandad, is spending the first day at the KSC. It was freezing, it was exciting and I got into trouble to burning through an entire roll of camera film in just a few hours. 

I wasn't sure then, how I'd feel about coming back again all these years later. Ultimately, whilst there were some striking memories, such as the Rocket Garden and seeing the Vehicle Assembly Building (VAB), but on the whole the Center has undergone a lot of change in the last fifteen years and much of what was there I was seeing for the first time. After a quick look around the Rocket Garden, we joined the queue for a bus tour around the Centre. This was excellent, informative and good fun. We saw the VAB, the Space X workshops and the launch pads used by NASA including those used for Apollo XI and the Space Shuttle. The Tour didn't immediately take us back to the main hub and dropped us off at the building containing Apollo/Saturn V Center. This was, in a word, cool. The sheer size and scale of the Saturn V rocket was staggering, and there were a huge amount of fascinating artefacts relating to all the Apollo missions, including the Apollo XI mission which landed Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong on the moon. I could have stayed there all day. Sadly Steph wouldn't let me, and we boarded the bus back to the main visitor complex. 

After eating our sandwiches in an outside lunch area where we had an excellent view of something very large (and unidentified) catching fire somewhere on the other side of the car park, we walked across to the building containing the Space Shuttle Atlantis. You can't just walk into the room containing Atlantis, and first you undertake a hybrid tour and video session - you walk between several rooms sitting down every so often to watch a film detailing the design history of the shuttle. The final video finishes with the screen showing the blackness of space, the lights drop and the screen slowly fades away revealing Atlantis looming large and impressively where the screen was. It's hard to describe in writing exactly how I felt at the point that screen melted away. The best I can do is to expand on my description of the Saturn V, this was really, really cool. Yet again, I could have spent all day in that building. It was fascinating, educational, inspiring and, when we came to the memorials for Challenger and Columbia, extremely moving. 

Once back outside, we visited the Astronaut Memorial Garden, and explored the Rocket Garden more thoroughly whilst eating Space Dots (something Steph had been telling me to try all day). The Florida weather had, thanks to the storm yesterday, broken and whilst still warm it was extremely pleasant walking around the both gardens in the early Florida evening. We rounded the day off by heading back to the mainland for Denny's for dinner before heading back to the hotel.